A Short
by Reborn from the Ashes
Summary: This is a tale, a very strange tale, of a LotR fan...well enough of that cr@p let's get to my very strange and short fic that popped into my head this afternoon. PG13 for swears.


A short little fic to distract you for a minute or so.

Oh and I don't own this.

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Walking along, minding her own business, *insert magical event here* Anna found herself standing alone in a beautiful forest. It was night and the stars shone brightly. The forest floor was clear of any underbrush for the trees were very tall, with silver gray bark and were had an incredible girth.

She stood silent wondering where she was. After a few moments she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned to find an incredible handsome man standing only a few paces away. He had blond hair that hung down to his waist and he was dressed in peculiar silver clothes. It took her a moment to realize he looked exactly like Orlando Bloom as Legolas. He grinned crookedly and before she could even speak he came up to her and kissed her hard.

As nice as the kiss was and as handsome as Orlando/Legolas was, her natural instincts kicked in and she slapped hard across his cheek. He stumbled backed with a pitiful look in his eyes.

"Nibinyuldawen my love, what is wrong?" His voice quavered in an un-masculine fashion most undeserving of an elven prince. She also noticed he wasn't speaking English and for some reason she understood it anyway, but she brushed that off as there were more important things to worry about.

"What the hell did you just call me?"

He stared wide-eyed for a moment, "Nibinyuldawen is your name."

"Why in the hell would I have such a fucking ugly name?"

"But Nibinyuldawen is a beautiful name. Why are you acting so oddly?"

"Beautiful? It has five syllables and would be a good name for a bug."

Legolas stood and stared at her for a moment. "My love what is wrong? Have you fallen ill? I know the incident with the Balrog tired you, but I thought you recovered."

"Balrog? What are talking about Legolas?" She crossed her arms, getting rather disgusted with the whole situation.

"Why, you do not remember? This is worse than I thought. I must get Gandalf to attend to you." He turned to leave, but she called out for him to stop.

"What are you talking about? Gandalf fell in Moria."

Legolas closed his eyes for a moment then approached her and held onto her hands. "My love-"

"Stop calling me that!"

She saw tears threatening his eyes, "In Moria you defeated the Balrog and saved the Fellowship. If it were not for you the quest would be lost. Mighty is the youngest daughter of Elrond, you Nibinyuldawen. When this is over we will wed, as I promised."

She could only star dumbstruck at the elf/actor. She then noticed for the first time that she almost met him eye to eye. She tore her hands from his and stepped backward. "What the fuck, I'm not tall. What the hell is going on?"

"Nibinyuldawen you are confusing me. Of course you are tall." He stepped forward.

"Shut up elf boy!" She couldn't believe what was going on. Cautiously she lifted her hand and sure enough it wasn't hers, but long and slender with milky skin. She stretched her arms out and saw that they were thin and long, clad in white fabric that shimmered in the starlight. She cautiously touched her pointy ears then pulled some of her hair before her eyes. "What! If I'm a daughter of Elrond why the hell am I blond?"

Legolas stood by looking confused and rather neglected by the author. "Oh my God! I'm a Mary Sue." She stared up and addressed the sky, "No no no no, there are NINE in the Fellowship you stupid git of an author. Gandalf fell in Moria and Elrond has ONE daughter. I can't take this." She then let out a piercing shriek that was heard in every corner of Lothlorien. Dashing forward she knocked Legolas off his feet and onto his tush.

He slowly got to his feet and gazed after the retreating figure of his love. All of Lothlorien was searched, but she was not found and Legolas never saw her again. To make up for her absence he befriended Gimli.

And that, my children, is why the elf and dwarf became friends mwahahahahahahahahahaha

Okay that sucked, but I felt like writing it. Hee hee, I'm so bad. 


End file.
